There are four key things a mentor couple needs in order to work effectively with other couples:
A servant heart - While many mentoring relationships are enjoyable and provide a sense of making a difference in someone's life, there are times when the mentee couple may not be particularly motivated, think they already have what they need to be successfully married or not be easy to connect with. In these cases, the mentors need to draw upon their sense of calling to be mentors, and serve their mentees without expecting anything in return.
Your own marriage and story - Nobody likes a hypocrite and mentees are no exception to that. Mentors are also likely to come under spiritual attack on their own marriage when they engage in a mentoring ministry. For these reasons we recommend that all mentors begin with the foundation of their own solid marriage, develop stories and examples of the lessons they have learned through their own marriage journey, and take time apart from mentoring periodically for refreshment. If your own marriage is struggling in any way, work on that before beginning to mentor others. If while mentoring you encounter difficulties of your own, take time away to work on those areas. Your marriage and your future mentees will be blessed by your doing that.
Your marriage knowledge base - We are fortunate to live in a time when there is deep understanding of how relationships work best. The sad thing, however, is that most couples haven't learned that information or applied it in their own lives. As marriage mentors, you can play an important role in transforming relationships and providing real hope for today's couples. The Solution for Marriages book and web site provide a rich source of marriage training tools and resources that mentors can teach to others. There's simply nothing else like it on the market!
Use of a couple's assessment - Before mentors can positively impact lives, they need to know where couples need marriage education and training. That can take time to do haphazardly, or a mentor can use a validated couple assessment tool such as PREPARE/ENRICH or the Couple Checkup, from Life Innovations. Becoming certified or trained in the use of this assessment will enable you to quickly pinpoint a couple's growth areas so you can focus your time and efforts where it will benefit them most.
